kehilangan

kehilangan mmg sgt mnyakitkan..
lebih mnyakitkn apabila kita ada sikap pentingkn diri..

kita syg kn dia..
kita nak dia slalu ada ngn kita..
hakikatnya kita akn kehilngn dia..

merelakan kepergian dia bukan sesuatu yg mudah..
jika kita pentingkn diri..

rasanya,
aku xkan kecewa sangat bila kau tinggal kn aku..
tpi kesekitan yg aku alami sgt lama..
kesannya msih ada..

rasanya,
kehidupan aku msih sama tanpa kau..
tpi keceriannya seolah2 tidak terserlah..
cahayanya kian surut..

rasanya,
kau bahagia sekrang..
mungkin..siapa tahu..??
aku xdpt tnya kau..
kalau aku tnya pun, xsemestinya kau jwb jujur..

skrg mcm ni lah aku..
jalani hari2 seperti biasa..
happy..smuanya msih sama..

mm..
apa yg aku buat skrg, cuba lupakan smua kesedihan..
dan kesedihan aku itu ialah kau!

mngkin aku perlukan masa..
untuk berhubung secara normal ngn kau..

maaflah sbb aku cuba mngelak dripada kau..
bukan aku xnk angkat call, bukan aku xnk reply msg..
tpi aku xmmpu!
aku perlu masa..

1 hari nnt,
bila aku dh bersdia, aku akn jdi kwn kau semula..
dan wktu itu, kau harus tahu...
"aku dh xde apa2 perasaan pada kau..dan aku dah lupakan smua tentang kita.."

why??!!!

malu..
malu..
malu..

aku speechless...
xtw pe nk ckp...
smuanya cm bercampur baur...
prasaan happy, malu n geram..
rsa bersalah pun ada...

pls...
forgive me...

aku bgi kau harapan ke??
aku trlalu care ke??
aku trlebih sygkn kau ke??

pls say something..
"yes" or "no"...

do you feel something towards me??

bla..bla..bla..!
aku dgr kau merepek2 ckp psal sesuatu yg xpsti..
smuanya still blur for me..
so make it clear ok!

"k gudnite..xpe kalau xnk reply msg aku!!"

malu..malu..malu!!hari yg memalukan!

pernah bygkn kau pkai baju sama ngn kwn kau dlm satu majlis???
ahh..
malu..malu..malu!
itu apa yg aku cuba gmbrkan...

huh..
yg penting kne pndai cover rsa malu tu...
pndai2 la ckp..
"ala..kitaorg beli kain sama2..saja, nk boria..sehati sejiwa.."
haha..pengalaman yg pelik pernah aku alami..
xsangka!

satu lgi bnda memalukan!
pernah x kau pkai baju kurung,
pegang kayu pnjang (kayu sepanduk),
sambil lari kejar kereta mak kau (takut kne tinggal),
sambil pegang kasut dan berkaki ayam??
cmne nk gmbrkn eh??!

tpi tdi mmg teruk..
kasut tu mnyakitkn kaki aku..
so aku trpksa bukak kasut n lari nk kejar kereta mak aku!
aku pegang kayu sepanduk tu mcm org asli nk pergi berburu kt hutan..
malunya!!!
ya Allah, kwn aku lak gi tngkap gmbr aku..
aku pun sempat lgi possing dlm keadaan kelam kabut nk kejar kreta mak aku..
haha!
mmg malu!!manusia2 sekeliling hnya trsengih memandang..
malu!!!!aku taubat xnk wat perangai2 pelik lgi!!!!ahhh...malu!!!!

aku pelik?! apa2 je la..(n_n)

haha...
mmg pun..
kdang aku happy, kjap sdih, nnt hyper plak..
kdang aku blur n slow..
ikut masa dan keadaan..

kwn aku ckp aku pelik..
bukan sorang je penah ckp cmtu..
rsanya 9 drpda 10 kwn aku brpendapat aku pelik..

hahaha!
klakar la..

tpi..
bgi dorg..
sifat pelik aku ni la yg wt aku special..
ntah la..

tpi ini lah diri aku..
sepelik2 mana pn aku..
ini lah hana..
klau aku x mcm ni, mksudnya aku bukan lah hana..

ada yg suka, ada yg bnci..
ada kata aku mngada, gedik..
ada plak ckp aku ayu, lembut sgt..
ada plak kata aku kasar, ganas, gila2..
ada plak brpendapat aku ni bdak2 x matang lgi..

apa2 pn yg dorg pikir,
ini lah diri aku..
aku bukan sempurna, tpi aku selesa ngn diri aku..

well, apa org nk kata psal aku,
aku xpeduli sgt..
sbb org yg xknal aku, dorg xtw aku ni cmne..
xsalh dorg nk wt tanggapan..
kira cm hypothesis dorg trhadap aku la..
bila dorg dh knal aku, bru dorg tw aku ni cmne n bru la leh wt conclusion..
time tu bru la dorg tw, hypothesis dorg accepted or rejected..

huhu!
apa pn aku happy sgt ngn kehidupan aku n brsyukur ngn pengalamn2 yg aku dpt..
bkn smua dpt rsa pngalaman ni.. mnis, pahit, masam, masin......
so, thanx smua yg mnceriakn hdp aku...
thanx a lot!!

especially..
(O.o), aiman, azuryn, najwa, muzzy dan rmai lgi!
smua yg mngenali diriku ini..thanx...

you're the mistake i've done...?

I'm glad you were here by my side, once..
I'm glad that I knew you..
But when you're gone..
I feel like crying..
"Please come back.."

Losing my mind, falling in love with you..
Maybe it was too fast...
I'll be fine without you..
I'm living happily now..
I can breathe and sing along, sometimes I laugh with my friends..
No more tears..
But it will be better if you're here with me right now..

Thinking of you is like filling the empty spaces in my heart..
Looking at you is like painting a colourful picture..
Talking to you makes my heart beats faster..
And missing you is like killing myself..

None of them were like you..
None of them would have the same words you said..
None of them could make my smile shines the world..
And none of them broke my heart as you did..

.....
Now I really know this guy..
The guy i never notice before..
He always makes me feel calm..
He always gives me what I want..
The one who be with me everytime i cry,
feeling sad and frustrated, disappointed because of you..
Even sometimes i always treat him badly..
He never say "goodbye"..

He is the one who really owns my heart..
But I've been blind all this time..
I've been so stupid while listening to you dear..
Why I'd be with you..?
After all, you leave me..
Its not suppose to hurt this way..
If I could turn back to the past..
I'd like to change everything..
And the first thing is.."you"...

Now I will never ever repeat the same mistake again..
Even you're trying to get back with me or anything..
I'll never let it happen..
And "goodbye"..
I realize, you're the mistake I've done...

But wait...
I'm glad that I knew you..
If not, I'll never realize, the truth is..
I love him and he appreciates me more than anyone could!

aku, (n_n) ...replying msg... kau, (O.o)

You received 1 new massage from: (O.o)

“Hurting you is the worst thing I have ever done.. I know you probably won’t forgive me, but I want to apologize here.. Maybe its true, I don’t deserve becoming your friend.. Thank you for all the time, credits you’ve spent on me and even you’re caring towards me.. I am really an idiot for not appreciating everything you have done to me.. Thank you..”

………..
(n_n) is replying to (O.o)

I would like to reply you this way..

But I didn’t..

..............



You received 1 new massage from : (n_n)




I didn't see it clearly..

I didn't notice it was the right feeling I had..


I try not to let myself fall again..

I just don't want to be hurt anymore..


The truth is,

I'm falling for you..


Every second, I think of how to get with you..

Cause I know we can't be together..

Every night, my dream is only you..

The happy moment when we r together..


Didn't u feel the same way I felt?


mmm...

You acting weird towards me today..

Why don't you come and have a talk with me?

Why don't you smile at me and make me laugh?

Why don't you walk with me and follow me where ever I go?


I know I've hurt u a lot before..

But I promise that I will never let u down again..

Please give me another chance..

Lately, I feel like you’re trying to avoid me..

I’m not sure why..

Maybe u still mad at me for what had happened last two days..

Perhaps, its not that serious..

But yeah, I don't like to be in this kind of situation..

And now I understand "why?"!

Cause..

I love you..

I don't want you to leave me..