qin ai de..wo ia ni..ni! ben dan!

Nobody ever told me the true meaning of love..
I search it in the internet..
None of the words give me the best idea of what love is about..
Why I can’t feel it?
Why I still can’t understand?

Every morning I wake up..
Just hoping today is a better day..
Just smile looking at myself in front of the mirror..

Before, I was crying because of love..
Suffered a lot because of love..
Put all the blames on myself because of love..
Give up because of love..
Frustrated and disappointed because of this idiot love!
What’s so beautiful about love I usually heard??

Some say..
”God gives me love to live..”
“Love is amazing..”
“I love you till my last breathe..”
What’s so important about love??
It’s just a waste of time!

…………..

As I grew up..
I learned so much things..
I faced many problems..
I meet a lot of people..

Try to understand..
Try to feel..
Try to capture every joy in life..
Try to learn as much as I can..
Try so hard to listen, to make it mine..

Somehow, I could paint these plain papers with wonderful colours..
The love shows me the colours of the rainbow shining in the purple evening..
With dazzling stars above the sky..
Fantastic!

…………

This is the first time I meet someone who really cares about me..
Willing to do anything for me..
Try the best to make me happy..
Give full attention and protect me every time..
Understand me better..
Hold me when I’m weak..
The voice to speak, the eyes to watch..

He never give up..
I can feel how much he loves me..
He teaches me how to fly..
He gives me strength to carry on my life..
He helps me a lot..

He saw the best of me even I’m not..
I am everything I am when I’m with him..
I am lucky to know him..

He brings the light in the deepest dark little heart..
He never force me to do anything..
He never hope me to give him anything back..
He always there to make sure I’m ok..

I’m fine..
And I’m very happy to be with him..
I’m free to be myself when he’s with me..
The best thing of me is him..
There to share every single problem..
There to fix every broken pieces of my heart..
The most important thing is..
He never broke his promises..

I never want him to let me go..
I never want him to go away..
I want him to be with me every breathe I take..
I should tell him how important he is to me..
But I never had a chance…

I don’t know how to express my feeling towards him..
It’s so hard for me to let the words escaping my mouth..
But my heart always force me to tell him what I need to..
So this is the only way..

Even I never say I love him..
I’m sure he knew it earlier..
All I ever wanted was a person like him..

But love isn’t everything..
If you love someone, let it go..
If it comes back to you, it’s yours forever..
If it doesn’t, then it was never meant to be..
Nobody ever wish to be loved because they are pretty, beautiful, intelligent, good or whatever..
But because they are themselves..

If I know what love is, it is because of him..
Love is never wanting to lose faith, never wanting to give up and never truly moving on..
Love is knowing and praying in the deepest part of what’s left of your heart that they feel the same..

The truth is, i don’t know why i love him..

Sincerely..
”wo ai ni..”

happy birthday

where u go?
i miss u so badly..

today is his birthday..
he looks happy today..
i just gave him a cute little present..
i hope he likes it..

wishing him..
"happy birthday!may God bless u.."

"i hate you!"

stop calling me!

i'm back..
for months i stop undating my blog..
because i'm too busy..
there's so many things i want to share..
there's so many things happened last few months..

firstly...
org yg pernah aku syg satu masa dulu..
apa yg buat dia terus igin menghubungi aku?
every single day dia call..
and the worst part..
dia suka sakitkn hati aku..
knpa msih ungkit perkara 2tahun lalu??

i just wanna tell him if i could..

"you the one who leave me..
you the one who make me cry..
you make me suffer all this time..
why you keep on hurting me?
what do you really want from me??!
i hate you! stop calling me..
i'm tired pretending i'm glad to receive your calls..
we are finished, and nothing there's left in my heart.."

kehilangan

kehilangan mmg sgt mnyakitkan..
lebih mnyakitkn apabila kita ada sikap pentingkn diri..

kita syg kn dia..
kita nak dia slalu ada ngn kita..
hakikatnya kita akn kehilngn dia..

merelakan kepergian dia bukan sesuatu yg mudah..
jika kita pentingkn diri..

rasanya,
aku xkan kecewa sangat bila kau tinggal kn aku..
tpi kesekitan yg aku alami sgt lama..
kesannya msih ada..

rasanya,
kehidupan aku msih sama tanpa kau..
tpi keceriannya seolah2 tidak terserlah..
cahayanya kian surut..

rasanya,
kau bahagia sekrang..
mungkin..siapa tahu..??
aku xdpt tnya kau..
kalau aku tnya pun, xsemestinya kau jwb jujur..

skrg mcm ni lah aku..
jalani hari2 seperti biasa..
happy..smuanya msih sama..

mm..
apa yg aku buat skrg, cuba lupakan smua kesedihan..
dan kesedihan aku itu ialah kau!

mngkin aku perlukan masa..
untuk berhubung secara normal ngn kau..

maaflah sbb aku cuba mngelak dripada kau..
bukan aku xnk angkat call, bukan aku xnk reply msg..
tpi aku xmmpu!
aku perlu masa..

1 hari nnt,
bila aku dh bersdia, aku akn jdi kwn kau semula..
dan wktu itu, kau harus tahu...
"aku dh xde apa2 perasaan pada kau..dan aku dah lupakan smua tentang kita.."